“Too legit to quit” – MC Hammer
When I was a kid my parents said, “If you start something, you don’t quit. You stick it out.” Over the years I have heard nearly every parent give this same advice. It’s like some kind of golden rule that was handed down in a textbook to parents around the world.
I think this advice sucks. I thought it sucked when I was a kid and I think it sucks now that I’m a parent of 4 kids.
Quitting can be a great option at times. I’m not saying it’s always the right answer but sometimes it can be. Hear me out on this.
I believe quitting something because it’s hard is a terrible decision and will foster a weak mentality. However, I also believe that sticking with something you hate or that isn’t working is just foolish. I didn’t have to play soccer for an entire season to realize I hated it just like I don’t have to stay at a job for a year to tell you I don’t like it. Yet, for some reason people always try to convince you that you are a loser if you don’t stay in a situation you dislike for some arbitrary period of time.
I once quit a job after 10 months because I knew it wasn’t the right fit for me. I did very well there and made good friends but the culture and methodologies did not fit my personality, not to mention a 3 hour commute every day. I was miserable and started bringing my unhappiness home. So, I found a different job and quit the one I disliked. When I gave my notice my boss tried to guilt me into staying by telling me that I should give a minimum 2 year commitment to any job I take. I thought, “OK. Why?”
If I was unhappy and not going to do my best work why in the world would I stay any longer than I had to? And why would this arbitrary 2 year period make a difference? People love to give you bullshit answers to questions like this such as, “Your resume will look better if you commit a full two years” or “The company invested a lot into you, I think you owe it to us.”
Great, so I should hate my life for two years and risk my happiness so that I can look good on paper and serve a company that would cut me in a second if they needed to downsize? No thanks pal.
All Quitters are Not Equal
The justification and worthiness of quitting really depends on the context of the situation. If you quit because something is hard it just means you give up easily and are weak in the face of adversity. However, if you quit because you dislike something or the situation just isn’t right for you it means you are freeing up your time to put it towards something more worthwhile.
Over time, however, people have lost sight of context and lumped everyone into one broad category of quitters. If you are a kid and quit a sport you can often find yourself being labeled a quitter. It doesn’t matter if you quit the hockey team because you were too lazy to go to practice or because you genuinely didn’t like the sport, you are just a quitter. The same silliness applies to in your adult life. If you quit a job your colleagues will tend to label you a quitter after you are gone and say you couldn’t hack it. It doesn’t matter if you quit because you wanted to sit at home and watch TV or if it was because you just didn’t find the work fulfilling, you were just a quitter.
We begin pushing this mentality on children from a young age and yet try to give them completely contradictory advice at the same time. We say “Once you start something, never quit” but then say things like “Do what you love and follow your passions.” Well if I’m playing baseball but love art how am I supposed to quit baseball and take up art classes if I will be deemed a loser for doing so?
This mentality feeds into adulthood when the stakes are higher. A kid loves to cook but chooses to major in Accounting because his parents tell him it’s a safe career. Three years into that career he hates his job and despises waking up every day to go to it. He wants to quit to follow his dream of becoming a chef but he feels like a quitter if he does so. So, he forgets his dream and just sticks with accounting. Soon he gets married, has kids, and wakes up at 45 to realize he’s still an accountant because he was too afraid to quit. No big deal, just a lifetime of unhappiness because quitting is for losers.
I Quit, So What?
How many people do we know that won’t quit a job because they don’t want to give up? They would rather be unhappy for decades than be seen as a quitter. Is that not insane?
I spoke with an old colleague the other day that was thinking about quitting his job to go back to an old company. He said that his current job was causing him a lot of stress, preventing him from going to the gym regularly, taking him away from home far too much, and starting to negatively affect his relationship with his wife and kids. If he decided to go back to the old company he would make more money for less work, be able to work from home every day, and not have to travel. Yet, in the same breath that he told me about all of these positives he also said, “I don’t know though, I never quit anything in my life.”
What?!? This guy was willing to risk his health, happiness, and family life because he didn’t want to be seen as a quitter. In what world does that make sense? He wasn’t quitting because the job was too hard, he was quitting because he was unhappy and in a bad situation for his family. But he still had that same mentality instilled in him as a child – you can’t quit.
Do you know what happens when you quit in that context? Let me end the suspense for you. A gaggle of boo birds doesn’t come out of the stands to tell you that you’re a loser, your career isn’t irrevocably damaged, and you’re not branded with the word “Quitter” on your forehead. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You are happier and you feel a sense of freedom.
Listen to Yourself
There will always be people around to tell you that quitting is a bad move. Whether it’s quitting the high school football team or quitting your job when you’re 35 there will be someone there telling you that you are making a mistake. But the only person you need to listen to is yourself.
You must ask yourself why you are quitting and ensure it is for the right reasons. You don’t quit because it’s too hard or because someone is better than you or because you don’t believe in yourself.
Those are poor reasons to quit. But if you look inward and decide you want to quit because you don’t like the situation or because it’s bad for you then by all means you should listen to your heart and embrace quitting.
Quitting doesn’t mean you give up, it just means you free up your time to pursue something you really want.
So the next time someone tells you that quitters never prosper you can say, “Well, sometimes they do.”